Butt Ugly Shoe Alert May 19

Post Cannes Film Festival Alert:Emma Thompson

A SHORT STORY: Emma’s ugly shoe redux reminds me of an old, old Anglo Saxon tradition regarding Brides and shoes.

This tradition holds that if you encounter a bride on her way to her wedding ceremony, you greet her thus: “A happy foot!” The bride was encouraged to respond to this greeting by kissing the passing strangers- all this in order to ward off evil spirits.

HOWEVER, the only exception was anyone who was barefooted. The strangers were then cordially invited to join the bride on the road to the church(refusal was taken as a bad omen).

Dear Emma, your ugly shoes would be refused this old tradition back in Merry Old England for good reason. (HECK, YOUR SHOES PROBABLY ENDED THE TRADITION). And here you are on the repeat offender’s list. It seems you didn’t learn your lesson the last time we lashed your bad taste, did you?

What have we done to you, oh classy and talented lady (and so few talents nowadays) to deserve this treatment? Are you trying to shock us like those no-talent young strumpets who are famous, unlike you, merely because of sex tapes and twerking in front of teenaged kids on MTV?

You’re way above that, you know. At least we thought you were. If the late Jimmy Durante of big nose fame ever had a secret cross-dressing fetish, these are the shoes he’d wear. Ouch.

 

 

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