Welcome to our Halloween Post-Mortem column (all pun intended).
This year I lost my way then found it again at a very private party up in the Beverly Hills. Never mind that daytime Beverly Hills reminds me of an expensive nursing home. Everyone here likes to talk about the great things they did . . .20 years ago.
Or even better, they talk a big game about what they’re going to do (as long as someone else comes along to do the hard work of pulling their wagon). ASIDE: Here’s a bit of advice to those of you ambitious types who plan to move to L.A. to make your fortune:
Do not move to Beverly Hills. Your wealthy neighbors have nothing to prove, are living out-to-pasture, or worse, married into their money and will be of no use in helping launch the Next Big Idea you are trying to get off the ground.
Okay, back on topic-The Beverly Hills Halloween party and my inability to drink alcohol most of the time. This means I have to be engaging with strangers and attractive women who likely have as much money as me or more- and do this all using my own wits. Terrifying, no?
But your intrepid columnist has an advantage you likely don’t- I was once engaged to a Playboy Playmate and learned quite a few things about the subtleties in the way super-hot women of all backgrounds evaluate men. Suffice it to say, I applied just one of these lessons on Halloween, surrounded this night by very attractive models from all over Europe and the U.S. at this exclusive party at the home of a very attractive and enigmatic German expat named Sofia. (Sofia is what I never thought I would meet- a human female who is actually shaped like a Barbie Doll- see above photo).
My lesson applied? Be friendly. Be in the moment with the person you’re talking to- but NEVER BE INVESTED IN ANY OUTCOME. Talk a hot woman and tell her she’s funny (or smart), just never compliment her looks like all the other schmucks she talks to during her day. Let her know you’re single and and then hit her with this- “You’re adorable and you’d be a great catch – for my golfing partner (or brother, or biz partner, etc).
And then introduce her to one of the other guys at the party she doesn’t know. Obviously, this means you’ve scouted out some of the more interesting/attractive guys beforehand, learned a little bit about them and remember their names.
This is how dating non-investment works. You’re engaging, interested, but not afraid to expand your new lady friend’s social horizons with other interesting people. Don’t be afraid that the woman in question will be whisked away by the other guys- they will return back to you during the night because only you have shown extraordinary self-confidence, charm, and a concern for her social prospects beyond what you want from her. You show that you are willing to add value to her life, not just trying to get something like a selfish womanizer.
And after you do this- RINSE AND REPEAT with another hot girl. God forbid you come away with several gorgeous women who want to be your pal. Nothing wrong with that, it’s all good. And actually very helpful in finding a long-term relationship- but more on that in another post.
This is the behavior of an Alpha Male at any income level, in any zip code. You are not invested in how she JUDGES you. You are not a wuss like the rest of the dorks trying to make her the center of their lives instead of inviting her to join you on the interesting and exciting path you are traveling.
Hey, it works for me. Now go get busy . . .